My husband and I celebrate our thirteenth wedding anniversary today. He’s a great guy. I’m blessed. I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage lately. About marriages that fail and marriages that succeed; why I got married and why I stay married. What I didn’t know and what I still don’t understand. About what I hope my kids’ marriages look like. About grace and commitment and friendship and passion and comfort.
For our tenth anniversary we went to Ireland. Everything in Ireland was fierce. Blustery weather, dark clouds, brilliant rainbows, the heady scent of burning peet, rough wool sweaters, spray painted sheep.
Scalding hot food and blistering cold showers. Hot tea, homemade butter, oatmeal, cream and vegetable soup and blood pudding. Churches, cemeteries and castles. Guinness and dancing.
One day we took a ferry out to Inish Mor. Its an island off the coast of the Connemara region. The island is home to the 2000 year old fort Dun Aengus and to my absolute favorite place on earth.
The cliffs of Inish Mor.
It occurred to me as we stood by those cliffs that in the USA this would never happen. We’d have warning signs and fences and legal disclaimers and nets. We have too many rules. Maybe its too many attorney’s. I think in Ireland they figure if you fall off the edge of the cliff its your own fault. Why wreck the view for everyone else?
Standing on the edge of the cliff with my spouse might be the most alive I’ve ever felt. Terrified but exhilarated. It was so worth the risk for the view.
Ireland is a beautiful, dramatic, heartbreaking and soul-searching country. Its cheerful and playful and majestic. It is not a place for the weak at heart. It’s a little like a good marriage.
I love you Aaron. Happy Anniversary. Wanna go back to Ireland with me?