Tag Archives: Dangerous Surrender

I’m Trading

My sister and I had a trading game we played when we were growing up.  It started with Halloween candy but it also worked with stickers, hair clips, jelly bracelets, or on really bored days random bits of fluff and junk.   We’d bring our bags and dump them out on either side of the coffee table.  We’d each line our offerings up and then take turns picking from each other’s side until at the end we had a brand new batch of whatever.   It was a little like chess because you had to keep a strategy to protect your best candy.  I don’t remember the rules but I know they were complex.  I was six years older.  I usually got better stuff.  My sister though is a wily one and she caught on very quickly.  Neither of us liked coconut then so the Almond Joys and Mounds always presented a problem.  At some point I figured out that my dad would take these nasty candies out of the Halloween pile if I offered them up and then my sister and I didn’t have to worry about ending up with those.

The last few days I’ve been reading a great book.   Second Guessing God by Brian Jones. If you have questions about faith that you can’t seem to answer try this book.  If you have been hurt deeply I think it might help.  If you, like me, just need a good attitude adjustment I am almost positive it’ll work.

Yesterday I was driving out to meet my family for a night at the lake.   On my way, I prayed an honest and painful prayer.  It went something like this….

“ARGHHHH. I am in a crabby mood! I’ve been tired and sad for a bit here and frankly I’m sick of myself.  I do not want to reflect to people around me anything that resembles despair.  I want to reflect hope but right at this second I don’t have that.  I know when I went to Rwanda I said it was because I wanted to be Gloriously Ruined but this broken thing is not at all what I meant.   (read Kay Warren’s book Dangerous Surrender and you’ll know what I’m talking about….God knew when I said it) I really just need to know You see me.  Help. Help.”

Guess what.  God likes honest prayers.   I pulled over to the side of the road and took this picture.

For me last night this was not just a sunset   Psalm 19:1 says “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.”

I had a little mini revival in my Mazda 3.  It’s a zippy little car.   Corners nicely on the windy roads.  Has a cool Ipod hookup and speakers that last night were blaring out church songs.   I’ve heard them all a million times but last night I was singing along.  I sang loudest last night to I’m Trading My Sorrows.

I am pressed but not crushed

persecuted, but not abandoned

struck down, but not destroyed

I am blessed beyond the curse,

for His promise will endure

and His joy is going to be my strength

Though the sorrow may last for the night

His joy comes with the morning.

I’m trading my sorrows

I’m trading my shame

I’m laying them down for the joy of the Lord

I am definitely taking that trade.  I feel much better.  Let me know if you need a copy of Second Guessing God or frankly if you need a Bible.  I’d love to get you one, maybe we can trade.  What books do you have?



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My daughter had a big day today.  She got her first library card.  She filled out the whole library card application all by herself.  Well, okay, we told her the letters to write but she did in fact print all the letters herself.   We marched into the library and used the copy machine there to take a photo copy of the application.  This is not because I’m a crazy mom who keeps everything.  No of course not.  My sister and brother in law were with us.  They commented that both mother and daughter were bouncing we were so excited. The librarian tonight handed over the brand new library card to my daughter and told her it was a big responsibility and privilege.  My four year old replied “I’m Ready”

I love books.  All kinds.  Always have.

My favorite book as a child was Andrew Henry’s Meadow.  Great pen and ink illustrations.   It went out of print years ago and we couldn’t find a copy.  The original stays at my parents house but when I was pregnant I wanted my own copy.   Powell’s books in Portland had a copy for $150.   I love books but I’m not yet that crazy.  I was thrilled when the publisher put out a 25th anniversary edition and now we read it at home too.

Remember reading out loud in class in elementary school?  I hated that.  When my turn came I was always embarrassed because instead of reading along with the class I was reading ahead.   As a result, I never knew what paragraph I was supposed to read.   One time I actually got in trouble and had to stay in at recess because I’d read ahead in the literature book we’d been assigned and gave away the ending.  Oops.

When I was a teenager, if I ever developed a bad attitude (who me??) my mother would pull out a book from her stack and make me go read.   The most effective of these attitude adjustment books is The Hiding Place by Corrie Ten Boom.   If you’ve never read it and want to be inspired go find a copy.  I have one you can borrow.

Books have been involved with most of the important moments in my life.  My Rwanda journey was influenced greatly by Kay Warren and her book, Dangerous Surrender.   I need to read it again.  Like a lot of people in college, I lost my way for a bit.  Books helped bring me home.   If you are looking for some guidebooks, check out anything by JP Moreland, Lee Strobel or skip on ahead to the master – CS Lewis.  When my husband and I met, I knew we had a shot at a long term relationship when I found out he too loved the Narnia series.

At one point tonight, the librarian turned to me and told me all about the privacy policy at the library.   Apparently the four year old can check out whatever she wants.   The library does not do any censorship for library card holders of any age.  This is a little scary but I’m glad.   It’s up to the parents to guide her reading choices.   How refreshing.   Its a big responsibility and privilege.  I pray I’m ready.

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Filed under Books