Calling it good.

It’s been a good day.  Nothing to warrant a photo or blog post really but as I sit and reflect I am grateful for a mountain of simple pleasures.

My baby is in bed.  I can hear her talking to herself. Little happy noises.  Earlier she dragged out my highest heels and made me practice walking. These are the ones I threatened to get rid of because while they are gorgeous, they are super skinny heels and I tend to trip.  My three year old loves them. She really wants me to wear them. And so tonight I tromped up and down the hall and didn’t fall over once. Maybe all the running and biking and swimming is good for heel training.   Point here is that she makes me grin.

My eldest is at camp.  First overnight camp.  She was nervous.  I didn’t tell her I was nervous too. I told her she’d be great.   I sat tonight and thought about summer camp and growing up and the fact that fourth grade is no little matter.   Love that girl.

My house smells currently smells like a cake baking and bread rising.   My husband is making birthday treats for my dear friend.  He always says yes to my plans.  Currently my plans include a big pre race carb load.  Fresh mozzarella and grated parmasan and sausage and pasta.  Gosh he makes me happy.   

My hands currently  smell like lavender and basil and tomatoes from when I watered my garden.  I hear my cat meowing, ready for dinner and our nightly cuddle. 

Day after tomorrow is my big day. Swim and bike and run.  I’m scarexcited.   My Trisuit fits if you like the look of a black and pink porpoise.  

Ten days out is the 7th annual Scramble for the Kids.  Today I got to talk to several generous local entrepreneurs committed to helping hurting kids. I love that. 

Today I also witnessed a friend climb out of a personal hole today. Miracle. Inspiring. 

Talked to my mama. Planned a belated Father’s Day date with my dad and sister.  Smooched one of my nephews. 

Within striking range of a goal at work.  I love a finish line.

Lots of good stuff.  But Eaier today I got a little overwhelmed and sad.  It’s because I read the news.  Do you do this?  Lions and babies and protests.  Politics and fights and war.   I am a fully engaged citizen. I read and vote and call and write and fundraise.  But Sometimes it feels like the yuck is winning.  I can get stuck there. 

But I decided today to just not. 

Instead.

Counted my blessings.  Said a prayer.  Called it good. 

It was a good day. 

Welling Up

This is a busy crazy week.   Let me rephrase.   This is one busy crazy life.    I’ve developed a fairly stable system to handle this.   It involves a lot of lists.  I have a joint digital calendar and digital list with my spouse, a hard copy calendar and scheduled review session with my business partner/mother.  I have bits of random lists on my phone and by my bedside.  I have lists that track how many glasses of water I drink and if I made my bed.  I don’t always accomplish everything on my lists and most of the time I have lots of loose ends.   But it generally works. However lately there is one area of my life I’m not controlling all that well.    Tears.   I’ve had a lot of tears.

Before you worry about me and send me off to counseling (been there…done that) know that we’re doing fine.   It’s more that this stuffing all the joy we can handle into our lives has put us very close to people.  People who sometimes hurt.  People who frequently overcome. Plus I have two daughters and a husband.

That would do it all by itself.   I’m blessed and I hurt.   And so I cry.

The resident chef and I are about to celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary and I still adore the guy.   Last night I spent hours of time trying to impress him with a new casserole involving peppers and cheese.  It was okay.  Kinda boring and certainly not worth the work. I really should leave the cooking to him.    For St. Patrick’s tonight he’s making the traditional Corned Beef and Cabbage but just for fun he made Irish Brown Bread and Creamy Vegetable soup that are EXACTLY likes the ones we had when we were in Ireland for our tenth anniversary.  I can’t wait! When  I watch the video he made of that trip and I think about the past fifteen years and boom – tears.

One of my dearest friends had some heart ache in the last couple of years.  (Haven’t we all?)  I’ve cheered them on.  They make me proud.   I love watching how God is revealed in their conduct and character.  She sent me this photo from her recent doctor appointment.

    Tears.  Lots of tears.

Our church is in the midst of a remodel.   Couple of weeks ago a wall was torn open and this was found.   A message written there years ago by a family friend who lost a terrible fight with cancer.    Psalm 46:1  “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. ”    I love that this message was placed right where it would be seen again and would testify to us all about the goodness of God and how He carried her through her battle.

  Big tears.

My youngest is almost two and she pats when she gives hugs.  God knew at this stage in my life I’d want hugs and so He sent this sweet loving little miss.    The chef and she Facetimed me earlier today and showed me her new grin.

Tears.   Smiling grinning sloppy tears.

My oldest will be eight in two weeks.   She’s a fierce, loyal, brave and independent kid.  Huge heart.  Last six months she’s proved it through some personal battles.  Most recently, she just raised the most money in her school for the American Heart Association.  Every time someone agreed to donate to her I smiled and felt the tears threatening.    A close friend emailed her with her donation and told her that she could see what kind of person she’d grow up to be…a person like Jesus.   My little fighter said “oh mom. my tears are welling up “.   And that’s where I’ve been living lately.   Tears welling up.

The things that make me cry are varied and frequent.   My daughters sitting at my grandma’s piano. Holding my nephew.   Kneeling and looking into the huge big eyes of my niece.   My daffodils.   A really good joke.   Every song in Bow The Knee.    (It’s this weekend….go see it!)    Friends who take over when I can’t handle things.   My mother.   Sunshine.   A great book.     As it turns out,  even the painful tears are good.   Doesn’t make them not painful.   But painful isn’t always bad.

So I thought I’d better tell you all.  The true list that holds my crazy world together is all of you.  People who bless me.  People who take my loose ends and tie them together.    It’s a list from God that prove He is good.    All the time.    My list of gratitude to God.   And its all of you.

Full heart and tummy

Two things motivated me to actually grab my laptop and blog today.  The first and primary reason was that a friend texted me and said I needed to blog.  She’s right.   It’s been awhile.   The second reason is that I had one of those overwhelmed by gratitude moments.    Moments where life is good and joy overflows.

The first trivial but happy event this weekend was we sold our bug.   Gone are the days of swapping the precious spots in the garage.  We both fit again!   I suppose too gone are the summer days zipping around in a convertible but with this rainy and snowy spring I’m not convinced we’ll have any of those summer days anyway.    Someone remind me in July when I’m nine months pregnant, hot and huge, to be grateful for the cool spring.   At any rate, bye bye bug.

Event number two in the weekend was a date night with my spouse.    We’re celebrating our thirteenth wedding anniversary.  We shipped the dog and the kid off to Grandma’s and we went and saw a movie (Hunger Games….as usual, I liked the book better than the movie) and then headed into Portland for a night out.    I redeemed some reward points and got a free night in a hotel.   My husband scoured the internet and found a fun and funky place to eat.     Hot Pot City.    This place had several of the must haves for my perfect type of restaurant.

1.   Its small and funky.     Most of the people in the restaurant spoke Chinese.    I love it when I’m in the minority. 

2.  They gave me lots of utensils and our own pot to cook in right at our table.  I love food that you can mess with.   My spouse said this was why he picked the place.   This is one of the reasons I love my spouse.

3.  Really good food.   Fresh ginger and garlic sauce.   Homemade peanut sauce made with hand pressed sesame seeds and peanut butter.    Steak and noodles.    Thai peppers.   We met the owner.   She said that having people compliment her cooking is her payback for hard work.

We walked back to our hotel, curled up on the couch to watch Drive-ins, Diners and Dives.  What is with the host?  He always talks with his mouth full.    The episode we watched made me crave a good sandwich.    I had just eaten my weight in beef and chinese noodles.  I was working my way though my half of a Ben and Jerry’s ice cream tub.   Oatmeal Cookie was the flavor for the record.    My spouse said I can’t believe you can even think about food with as full as we are.   What can I say, I’m pregnant.

Saturday we met up with my parents and my daughter for her early birthday tea party.

My parents are going on vacation and are missing the soon to be six-year olds actual birthday so naturally they decided she had to have a bonus party.    Guess what was served?  A whole variety plate of yummy sandwiches.   Yet another pregnancy craving fulfilled.

A full weekend.   Family.  Fun.  Food.   Grateful heart.  Full tummy.